


A hunter's life for me

by Letsgetyourdeanon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 14:12:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letsgetyourdeanon/pseuds/Letsgetyourdeanon
Summary: You and your brother are hunters, although he never wanted this kind of life for you. Now you want to go on a hunt without him. Maybe bringing a Winchester along might help him let you go





	1. Chapter 1

It had been nearly a year since you and your brother moved into the Bunker. Before then it had been just the two of you.

Your mother died when you were 16, Paul had been 24. Ever since then he had always taken care of you, no matter what you needed. He became the overprotecting older brother; it was inevitable with how much responsibility he felt for you after her death. He had always been a kind of a father figure to you, at a lack of anyone else willing to take on that part, so after it became just the two of you, he took on the role of being both parents to you.

You were 20 years old and working on a case with Paul in some God-forsaken town in the middle of Absolutely-Fucking-Nowhere, USA, and, despite the lack of people, the town still managed to be the home of a vamps nest. It had taken you a while to figure out their location, because their victims came from all over the world. Eventually, you realised that they had been taken from all surrounding towns, but this one was the only one in the area without any disappearances. For once you actually had some clever vamps; they didn’t crap in their own back yard.

You tracked the nest down to a residential area in the middle of town. To anyone who didn’t know about the true evils of the world, they would have seemed like an ordinary family. Mom, Dad, and three teenage children, two of them identical twins. The only problem was: they were a family with human blood-bags in their cellar and a greenhouse with human flesh as compost.

It was in this, seemingly ordinary, but very murderous, house that you first met the Winchester brothers. Only one vamp was still alive when you arrived, but it had confused the hell out of Dean, he could have sworn he had already killed that one. Paul took it out the minute you walked in the door. The only action you got on that hunt was the blood spatter from standing too close when Paul sliced the head off of the teenage vampire.

As it turned out, you were staying at the same motel as the Winchesters, the only one in town. You had just gotten out of the shower when you heard one of the hunters invite you and your brother out to the small diner in town for a celebratory burger and a ‘thank you’ milkshake.

Dressed in the only clean clothes you had left after this hunt, you hopped into the backseat of the beauty of a car that the Winchesters drove and headed off to the diner. It wasn’t until you noticed how the waitress looked longingly at the two men that you realised how attractive they were. Being a little sister, traveling around with an overprotective older brother, you never really had the chance to get close to any guy. You had tried, the first couple of years after your mom died, to go on a few dates, but Paul always found faults in them, and always found a way to get you away from them. Since then you’d never really had a date.

You never really thought about men, romance, or sex anymore. You just figured it was something you might get, somewhere in the future, but not for a long time yet. For now, you would just be content with making a few new friends. Your current social circle consisted mostly of Paul, and a couple of old timer hunters you had bumped into along the way.

That was about six months before you moved into the Bunker.

Your brother had been thrilled when Sam first gave you the offer, wanting nothing more than a safe home for his little sister. Neither of you had had one for about ten years; when your mother first started hunting after something killed her sister.

Ever since, the number of hunts you had participated in had been kept to a minimum. It would always be done in either threes, the Winchesters and Paul, or twos, while one stayed home with you. You were only allowed to come along when it was an emergency and someone else couldn’t do it.

Yet your hunting skills were at an all-time high. Your mom and Paul had trained you pretty well, but no one could compare with the Winchesters. Sam would make sure you were in general good shape, and eating healthy from time-to-time. Dean was in charge of the more hunter-specific training, he also made sure to revive your old love of pies from when you were a child. Paul helped out in any way he could. All-in-all you became an even more badass-hunter.

Today you were in the gym, doing some close combat training with Dean. Sam and Paul were away on a hunt, and had been for the last two weeks. You really liked it when it was like this. When Paul was home, he was kind, but always strict, and didn’t like it when you wanted to just have a day to relax, not even on Sundays. Sam could be a lot of fun, but when Dean and his fast food-influence was gone, he would feed you nothing but healthy food, smoothie for breakfast, and he forced on at least four morning-jogs a week. You didn’t mind healthy food, but sometimes you just wanted to pig out on the couch. Not to mention morning-jogs were a nightmare, any other time of the day would be fine, but did he have to drag you up so damn early?

Staying home with Dean was your favourite thing. He would let you do more of what you actually wanted, and just hang out with you, in addition to his awesome hunter-training sessions. They were always more fun, because it meant that you could get better, and maybe they would let you go on more hunts.

Somehow you had managed to get Dean on his back while wrestling him, and you were straddling him on the floor, his hands above his head, while you smiled triumphantly.

“I told you I was getting better! I actually got you this time!”

Your cockiness soon faded when he spun you around and suddenly had you pinned beneath him.

He put his thighs on either side of your hips and leaned down, until his face was right next to yours, and he whispered in your ear, and you could hear the slight laugh in his voice.

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. You’re not that good yet. I was just going easy on you. You still have a long way to go before you beat me.”

You shivered as his breath blew over your ear and the back of your neck.

You had started having feelings for Dean about 4 months ago, when you finally realised you had the chance to actually have a life outside of your brother and hunting.

This was an absolute secret, of course, one you were prepared to take to your grave. Just because Paul wasn’t around all the time anymore, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t lose his shit if he even had a suspicion of you being anything but pure and innocent. It wouldn’t matter that he was close to both of the Winchesters, that he loved living with them in the Bunker; keeping your innocence in the one area of your life that hadn’t been corrupted by hunting yet was more important.

It wasn’t about keeping your actual, biblical, innocence, that was just a bi-product. He knew that every aspect of your life had been taken over by hunting in some way, you had lost so much in any other way. Being the overprotective brother, he wanted to at least keep your heart out of harm’s way.

And he had.

For over 5 years, he had made sure your heart was kept safe from any harm. But now… now you had let it out of its cage.

The problem was that you had, without his knowledge, given your heart to Dean Winchester. The man was a walking picture of what every woman wants. You had lost track of how many women you had seen and heard him with, and that was just when you were around. You didn’t even want to think about what he got up to while on hunts.

But right now, that didn’t matter. Right now, he was straddling your hips and he was whispering in your ear. Right now, all you could think about was having him all around you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, wanting you, feeling all of you, you feeling all of him… and the wetness these thoughts were currently causing between your thighs. You were suddenly very glad that he had moved from between your legs to around your hips, because there is no way you could have kept yourself from grinding down on him.

Without your permission, your mouth let out a slight moan at all these thoughts, combined with the feel of him so close. He held your hands above your head, like you had him, and looked down at you quizzically, with a smirk as he heard the somewhat explicit sound coming from you.

You prayed to God, and whoever else might grant you mercy, that he would do more, that he would react to you. Maybe he would have, maybe he would have taken you right there on the floor, but sadly you didn’t get to find out. All you could hear was your laboured breaths from exertion, and in your case, arousal. That was all cut brutally short when the sound of the front door slammed like a gunshot through the entire Bunker.

Sam and Paul were home, and they broke whatever spell you were hoping you might have put over Dean.

You quickly scrambled apart and gathered yourselves up, before you went up to meet the two hunters. Panic struck you as you saw Sam walking down the stairs, holding on to his side. Behind him, Paul came limping down the stairs, his right leg in a cast. Dean hurried over to his brother, while you quickly made your way to yours.

“Hey, Sammy, you okay? What happened? You need stiches?” Dean gave him a worried look and helped him over to a chair by a library table.

Paul didn’t even give you a chance to ask, he saw the look on your face and knew how worried you were. Glad he at least seemed in a better condition than Sam.

“Hey, Duckling, don’t worry ‘bout me. I’m good. Just a little fracture, that’s all. I’ll be healed up in no time. Just give me a hug, and a hand over to the table with the guys.”

You did as he said, feeling better the moment he put his arm around you and rested his head on yours. Helping him over to the table with the Winchesters, you saw Dean carefully inspect the stitches Sam had apparently gotten from the same hospital that had put the cast on Paul, not believing his brother was okay before checking himself.

“Don’t worry about it, Dean. We both just need some rest, a while off, and we’ll be fine.”

Dean let out a sigh of relief, knowing his brother was going to be okay. He finally looked over at you and Paul, sitting across the table, giving you both a little smile. The look he gave you seemed mildly disappointed, and you really wanted to believe it was because of what had been interrupted by your brothers coming home.

The next few days were a lot of fun. With all of you home in the Bunker for once, it was really great to reconnect as a group. You had lost track of how many glasses of whiskey – not to mention bottles of beer – you had all had, but it didn’t matter. It all helped make the mood in your weird home, more relaxed, and you all just hung out like normal people for a while. Normal people with hunting injuries and slight alcohol problems, living in a Bunker made by a secret society… but still more normal than you had in years.

You ended up watching a movie every night, and every night you made sure you got to sit next to Dean. It sounded schoolgirl-crushy, but you didn’t care as long as you got to be next to him. Of course, you made it as inconspicuous as possible, claiming Paul’s broken foot needed him to sit in a chair with it elevated, while Sam could sit on the couch, but at an end with no danger of anyone touching his stiches by accident. This way, you got to sit sandwiched in between the two Winchesters, leaning on Dean’s shoulder when you became ‘tired’.

It lasted about five days before Sam almost went crazy without any type of research, you were honestly surprised at how long he had coped without doing anything hunter-y. When he announced that he was going to sit in the library all day, researching whatever he could find reason to, Dean surprised you all by throwing him a case. He had apparently stumbled across it the night before, when he couldn’t and instead found himself looking up relevant news events.

The Winchesters agreed quickly that it had to be a ghost, some elderly woman obsessed with her doll-collection, trying to kill every new owner of her house that tried to take them down from their self.

You had packed up your duffel bag the second you heard that there was a case. It was obvious that neither Sam nor Paul could go on this hunt, and there was no way in hell you were letting Dean go alone, even if it was just a salt ’n’ burn.

Having gotten everything ready, and getting confirmation from the brothers that it was just a ghost hunt, you stood in the library with you duffel in hand and your leather jacket on.

“Dean-o, you ready to go?”

All three men turned to look at you, Sam in sympathy, Paul with anger, and Dean with an unreadable expression.

“Y/N, go to your room and unpack your bag. You are not going on this hunt.”

Paul said it with such a calm voice, it took you a second to realise what an order it actually was.

“What? Why the hell would I do that? There’s a hunt, people are dying, and neither you nor Sam, are exactly fit for duty at the moment. Of course I’m going!”

Paul rolled his eyes, exasperated, “Dean will go.”

“Why in the world would he go alone on a hunt when there is someone right here who could help him out? I know it’s just a salt ’n’ burn, and he’s a Winchester, but he might still need an extra set of hands.”

Dean sighed, “Look, Sweetheart, I know you wanna help, but Garth can just give me a hand on this one.”

Dean walked over to you, rubbing your arm soothingly, knowing he was between a rock and a hard place and wanting to avoid the argument. Usually, Dean touching you would help sway you, but not this time. This time it was about their respect for you as a hunter, and your brother understanding that just because there were other hunters around, that didn’t make you redundant; not while there were still monsters around.

“Oh, come on!” you exclaimed, “Garth is a good guy, but why in the hell would you bring him instead of me? I can almost guarantee you that I will be more useful digging up a grave than him.”

Both the Winchesters actually snorted, and you could see the laughter in Dean’s eyes as he looked at you. You knew right then that they were both willing to let you go on this hunt, it was your own brother who had a problem. You sighed, as you realised what you had to do. You had to rip open a few scars.

“Guys, could you give us a second?”

Dean looked at you and nodded sadly, removing his hand from your arm as he and his brother left the room to give you some privacy. You went over to you brother, pulling out the chair next to him, and turning so you were facing each other. You grabbed his hand, and you stared down at your interlocking fingers, knowing this would hurt.

“Paul, you are my brother, and you know I love you, but I am also a hunter. I know neither of us chose this life, mom did, and I know you would probably get out if you could, and I know you want me to,” you sighed, shaking your head slightly, “The problem is, I’m already in this life. I have been since we were kids. There is no getting out now. Even if I wanted to, I know what’s out there, I couldn’t just go on and have a life of my own while people are dying from something I could have stopped.”

“Y/N…”

“No, Paul, I need to get this out, and you need to hear it…” You took a deep breath as you thought about how to break your brother’s heart in the gentlest way possible.

“You have taken care of me for many years now, and I really hope you know how grateful I am for that. But deep down, we both always knew that the hunters’ life was what we were gonna do. Those were the hands we were dealt, and that’s what we have to make the most of. I know you just want to keep me safe, and that’s why you want me to stay here, in this impenetrable bunker, but I can’t just stay in here forever. I have to keep fighting what’s out there. It scares the hell out of me every time any of you leave to go on a hunt, I can never be completely sure that you will all come back to me… But this time I need you to let me go. I am a better hunter than ever, and we both know I did pretty good back then as well.”

You both smiled at that, remembering. You had been pretty good, both of you, not Winchester good, but you did alright.

“How could it possibly be any better way for me to get back on the hunting-horse than on an easy salt ’n’ burn, and with a Winchester watching my back? You know he would never let anything happen to me if he could stop it. So, I am asking you, in the nicest way I can, please let me be an adult and actually do some good in this world?”

He didn’t say a word. He just looked up at you, and you could see that there was an unshed tear in his eye. All he did was smile at you, and then he pulled you into a hug.

“Just be careful, okay? I need my annoying baby sis to come back.”

You just pecked his cheek and went over to pick up your duffel bag, your leather jacket had never come off. You really looked like the hunter you were where you stood, ready to hunt, with boots on your feet and a Winchester watching your back. You headed out to the Impala, waiting for Paul to finish of whatever speech you knew he would give Dean on his way out.

You could hear it as the garage door opened, and Dean stepped through.

“Take care of my little sister, you hear!”

It wasn’t a question, it was an order. Dean just came over to you, smiling, leaning against the impala.

“You ready to get back on the road, after being locked up here for far too long?”

“God, yes,” you said, throwing your duffel in the back, sliding into the front seat next to Dean.

A smile spreading across your face when the classic rock started spilling from Baby’s speakers as you rumbled your way out of the garage and towards the open road.


	2. Chapter 2

Rolling into town with Dean, what you felt was relief. You knew it was a strange feeling to have, when deliberately going to face what would have been certain death to others, but that was what you felt. It was as if you had finally been let out of jail after a long strech. The bunker was in no way a jail to you, it was home, but having to stay there always, you felt as if the vast building grew smaller by the day.

You and Dean checked into the first motel you found. You waited in the car while Dean went into the reception. When he came back out he was holding a single key in his hand, and you didn’t know whether to feel exited or terrified, so you went for nervous.

He just smiled, grabbed your duffel bag, and went into the room. Without realising it, you held your breath as you stepped over the threshold into the room, only letting it out when you saw the twin beds. A feeling of disappointment settled in you stomach, but you tried to shake it off. Had you really expected him to forget everything about everything in your lives and just jump into bed with you? Of course not! You had just hoped that, maybe, he would take advantage of the situation.

“Okay, Sweetheart,” he said cheerfully, pulling you out of your thoughts, as he threw a duffel on each bed. “Here’s the deal. The house is up for sale again, and they are having an open house tomorrow. So we need to go there, look like potential homeowners, and scope out the place to see if there is anything that might tie the ghost to the house. As for tonight, I’m gonna head down to the records office and find out where the old bat is buried. You could just hang out here for a while, and I promise, I’ll bring you back the best bacon cheeseburger I can find.”

He bent his knees to look into your eyes, put his hands on your shoulders, and smiled at you with his most dazzling grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Had it been anybody else, you would have protested at being left behind in the crappy, old motel room. But it wasn’t anybody else. This was Dean, and he was looking at you with those big, green eyes, and you couldn’t find the will in you to deny him anything.

Seeing the look of acceptance on your face, he pecked your forehead, and headed for the door. Before leaving, he threw your room-key on the bed, and for some reason started digging in his front pockets. Just as you were about ask him what he was doing, he pulled out some quarters and left them on the nightstand.

“They have ‘magic fingers’, you should try them out,” he smirked at you and headed out the door.

After Dean left, you were on your own for a few hours, slightly annoyed that even on a hunt, you were left out of the hunt.

You actually tried out the ‘magic fingers’, for about five minutes. After that you walked around the room aimlessly, looking for something to pass the time. Preferably something to do with hunting. Knowing Sam had already researched anything interesting on the case, and Dean was taking care of rest, you gave up on being useful.

You slumped down on the bed Dean had thrown your bag on, letting out a frustrated groan. It seemed like you always got put into the category of ‘little girl in need of protection’.

You decided to turn on the TV to distract yourself. There was no use getting frustrated with Dean, he was just being as protective of you as you knew Paul would want him to be. He had, after all, told you that you could come to the house the next day. That would probably be more exiting than what Dean was doing now, anyway.

After finding nothing of interest on the free channels, you found yourself looking through the pay-per-view, hoping to stumble across something to entertain your bored mind.

That’s when you stumbled across a movie called ‘House of Wax’. Finding the idea of Paris Hilton alongside a guy looking a lot like Sam hilarious, you decided to turn it on, figuring it wasn’t really Dean paying anyway.

When Dean finally made it back from his research-quest, he came bearing the greatest gift you could want at that moment. The smell of greasy food made your stomach rumble even more than it had been doing for quite some time now, making you practically assault him to get to the deliciousness. He just laughed at you and pulled it up in the air, out of your reach. Your belly made a noise, just as you turned your face into a pout, making him laugh harder.

“Didn’t anybody ever teach you that it’s rude to attack someone for their food without even saying ‘hello’ first?” He smirked and kept the food out of your reach, even when you tried jumping for it.

“I’m sorry, but you were gone a long time. Do you really expect me to starve gracefully?”

“Sweetheart, you know I would never let you starve,” he said as he pecked your cheek. “Now, sit your ass down, and I’ll give you some grub.”

You almost sprinted over to the small kitchenette table, looking up at him expectantly the second you put your butt on a chair. He finally gave you the burger of your dreams, and opened up a bear bottle before he handed it to you. After taking a couple of bites, you were able to think clearly again, and thanked him for bringing you this food worthy of Gods.

Spending the rest of the evening talking and joking around in a pleasant mood, you even forgot all about not being allowed to go out with him earlier in the day. Instead you were just happy you got to be there with him.

When the time came for you to head to bed, you let Dean go in the bathroom first, knowing he had every right to be far more tired than you, actually having been productive. He came back out and hopped into bed wearing a t-shirt and his boxers, and you noticed immediately how your heart rate sped up, and you just knew your face was turning a light shade of pink. You quickly grabbed your duffel, and hurried into the bathroom, hoping Dean hadn’t notices how his sleeping attire had affected you.

When in there, you decided to grab a shower before bed. Even though you hadn’t done anything in exerting during the day, sharing a room with Dean made you paranoid about stinking up the place. The logical part of your brain said that he wouldn’t notice, nor care, if you didn’t smell your best, but you also knew that you did care.

Stripping out of your clothes and stepping into the warm water, it didn’t take long before your mind started to drift towards Dean. You let it linger on his face, and the thought of being held in those strong arms of his, but only for a minute, before you snapped yourself out of it. Having thoughts about Dean while in the shower was nothing new to you, it was something you did, and enjoyed, quite often, usually resulting in quite long showers. But right now, the inspiration behind these thoughts and fantasies was just on the other side of the thin bathroom door, in a quiet room, and you didn’t trust your own skill of muteness that much.

Therefore, you washed yourself quickly and got out of the shower, wrapping the largest towel you could find around yourself. You opened up your bag to find some clothes to sleep in, and suddenly you froze.

The only guy you had ever shared a room with alone before, was your older brother. You had never shared a room with a guy you had feelings for, and certainly, never a guy who looked like Dean Winchester. What the hell does one even wear in such a situation?

Pulling out a couple of options, you started thinking about different scenarios. If you wore too much, he might think of you as a prude, if you wore too little, he might think you were being a bit obvious or assumptive.

Then you looked down at your chest. Seeing as you were only 21 years old, your breast were quite firm, but you definitely didn’t think they were frim enough. The size was what it was, but you had seen Dean with gorgeous women over the past year, what if he thought your breasts looked saggy?

You realised that there was no way you were getting any sleep if you wore a bra, that boob-prison had to go. That also meant you wouldn’t dare wear a tank top, fearing that you would show too much.

You dug around in your bag some more, and pulled out an old Led Zeppelin t-shirt that had once been Dean’s. The left sleeve had torn on a hunt, and there was no way in hell Dean, the macho man, was wearing anything without at least some sleeve, thus it had become yours. You smiled as you put the shirt on, wondering if Dean would recognise it, you also pulled on some sleep shorts, knowing you couldn’t sleep if you got too hot.

When you finally stepped out of the bathroom, your fellow hunter was already fast asleep, signalled by his light snoring. You shook your head at yourself. Why did you always have to overthink things? Dean didn’t care what you slept in. All he cared about was that you were safe, and that he could get you home to your brother in one piece after a successful hunt.

Sliding into the bed furthest from the door, you realised Dean had placed you there on purpose. Always the protective one, you smiled to yourself. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep. Listening to Dean’s breath was the most relaxing thing you could imagine

Sam was sitting at a table in the library, researching some case. You couldn’t remember exactly what it was, but you knew it was big enough that you weren’t allowed to come.

“Hey, Sammy, what you up to?” you said cheerfully, as you leaned against the table he was sitting at.

At first you were surprised when he didn’t react. You asked him again, and when he still didn’t respond, you started to wonder if he was angry with you for something. Just as you were about to start quizzing him, you noticed his eyes.

Even after having hunted monsters for a number of years, racking up quite a few before you came to live in the bunker, you had never seen anyone with such a look of terror and pain in their eyes as Sam did in that moment.

When his eyes met yours, you saw tears start to form in them. As the first one fell, you noticed how it made an unnatural line down his face.

Wanting to help one of your few, dear friends ease such heartache and pain, made you reach out you hand, wiping the tear away.

As your thumb rubbed across his cheek, his skin felt hard against yours.

Then it started to come off his face, in the exact path that your thumb had followed.

Sam screamed.

You sobbed.

The alarm clock on the nightstand read 3 a.m. when you were awoken by your own sobs.

You had lost a lot of people in your short time, only being left with three that you really cared about more than anything. Even the mere thought of losing any of them was enough to break you heart. Seeing it like you just had, if only in a dream, was worse than you could ever imagine. The pain in his eyes had seemed so real.

Hearing shifting in the bed next to yours, you tried to quiet down as the tears kept falling. You knew Dean had enough on his plate. Even if this hunt wasn’t so bad, there were still enough evils out there putting a price on his head. He should most definitely not have to deal with you having nightmares because you saw a scary movie by yourself. It hadn’t even been that scary, it was just that stupid guy who looked like Sam that got to you.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You heard his gruff, sleepy voice ask you.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bad dream, don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep,” you whispered shakily in the dark room, your back still to him, afraid he’d realise how bad you were really feeling.

The small bedside lamp was turned on, and you knew he could see your shoulders shaking, no matter how much you wanted and tried to stop them.

“You don’t seem fine…”

You couldn’t hold in the small sob that came when you thought about how you were making things difficult for Dean. You were a hunter, for God’s sake. A scary movie should be something to laugh at, not something that made you cry with fear in the small hours of the night.

The creaking in the bed behind you made you turn your head towards your temporary roommate. He had gotten up and was standing between your beds. Your breath hitched in your throat as he put his large, rough hand on your bare upper-arm.

“Come on, Cherry Pie, it’s obviously not nothing. Scoot over, and make some room.”

You were still distracted by the fact that he had called you Cherry Pie, he only did that on special occasions, but you never really knew why. Whatever the reason, it never failed to make your cheeks turn red, and now also stopping your tears. In your blushing haze, you forgot to think about his words or your actions, and you just did as you were told.

He slid in next to you, putting his arm around your shoulders, pulling you against his chest. You breathed him in, and you felt more relaxed by the second, sinking into him as best you could. His grip tightened, and he put his chin on your head.

Dean was willing to do whatever it took to stop your bad dreams. Lord knows, he had had his fair share of those over the years. Who cared that he was a dead man if your brother found out he shared a bed with you, it wasn’t in his nature to watch people he cared about suffer if it was in his power to help.

He was rubbing your back soothingly when he noticed what you were wearing.

“Is that my old shirt?” he asked, a pleased smile on his face, that you couldn’t see through the darkness of the room.

“Yeah… It’s so comfy. Best sleep shirt I’ve ever had.”

It had once been his favorite.

Your eyes became droopy as you spoke.

Dean held you close for the rest of the night, pleased that he could calm your fears. And that you hadn’t seemed to mind when he crawled into bed with you.

That night, you both slept better than you had in a longer time than either of you cared to admit.

The next morning you woke up to alone. It wasn’t until you felt the smell of Dean, lingering on the pillow, that you realised that it really hadn’t been just a dream this time.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach, thinking about how close you had been to him all night. He had held you, and you had felt absolutely safe.

You really wished he would be okay with repeating it, maybe even more, the next night.

Your heart almost leapt out of your chest when you heard the motel room door open.

“Mornin’, Sleepy Head! I got us some doughnuts for breakfast. You need to get out of bed and get ready. We’re going undercover today,” he winked at you and set the food down on the table.

Right, the case.

In all your butterflies and excitement you had almost forgotten all about the case. You were going to play dress-up and go to an open house.

Today, you were going to ‘pretend’ openly to be in love with Dean.

You smirked to yourself.

Today was the day you would show Dean Winchester, just what he was missing out on.


	3. Chapter 3

Knowing today was the best chance you could get in the foreseeable future to get close to Dean, you planned on pulling out every card up you sleeve. The problem was, with your lack of experience, it was quite a small deck.

Your first step in this new project was to make sure you looked your absolute best. Seeing as you still had to look the part, you pulled out your one and only outfit that could fit both the description of ‘responsible’ and ‘flattering’. A skirt that was long enough to be grown-up, but tight enough to be sexy. Your blouse was businesswoman-like, but with a deep neckline showing of your clevage. Your makeup and hair was also properly done, for once.

Honestly, you couldn’t remember the last time you had actually looked this good.

When you stepped out of the bathroom, you noticed Dean looking you up and down, a bit more closely than what you would call ‘friendly’.

It was the best start to the day you could hope for.

Now you just crossed your fingers that the rest of your repertoire was good enough to tempt a man like Dean Winchester.

So far, everything had worked out great with your plan. Dean’s eyes had been on you a bit more often, his touches lingering a little longer, his flirty lines coming closer together. If you were able to keep this up, you hoped to have gotten quite a lot closer to any kind of relationship with the handsome hunter.

All of this was before you even got to the open house, and there you really had to be a couple.

As you pulled up to the house, Dean leaned over you and searched around for something in the glove compartment. He pulled out a little bag, about the size of a hex bag, but much nicer looking. He tipped it over in his hand, and out fell two silver wedding rings. The larger one he slipped onto his own left ring finger, the other he held out to you.

“Our cover is that we’re newlyweds. That way we get taken more seriously, and they think they can squeeze more money out of us. Meaning, they will let us go a bit more freely in the house.”

“Okay…” you drew the word out, trying to understand what in the Hell was actually happening. “Where did you get the rings from?”

“They were my parent's’,” he said it quietly and without looking at you.

“What?” you exclaimed. “Why in the world would you keep those in your car?”

He turned around with a slight blush on his face, moving around in his seat. Clearly wishing you would just put on the ring and be done with it.

“This car, Baby, she’s the closest thing we have to a home they shared together, alright. It somehow felt right to keep them here… Now just put the God damned ring on and shut up, we need to get on with the case.”

He gave you the ring and got out of the car, leaning against her. It was quite clear to you that any talk of an emotional character, particularly about his mother, wore on his patience. That’s why you put the ring on, vowing to yourself not to overthink it, and praying that Mary Winchester wouldn’t smite you for desecrating her ring with your hunter lies.

Hunt-wise, that open house was a complete waste of time. Even though the spirit was clearly fond of her weird doll collection, there was no evidence that she was actually attached to anything in the house. She just liked to keep things the way they were.

On the project - “get Dean to fall for me” – front however, it was everything you could have wanted. Pretending to be newlyweds meant that you had to be close to each other, preferably touching, at all times.

At one point, you even got to kiss him. It wasn’t more than a quick peck on the lips, but it was still the most action on the romantic front you had gotten in years. Butterflies like never before had erupted in your stomach and it felt like you were in heaven, if only for a moment.

After that you hadn’t really caught anything of what anyone had said to you. You just followed Dean around, and eventually got back in the car with him.

It wasn’t until Baby rolled out in front of the motel that you snapped out of it.

No matter how much you wanted today to change Dean’s perspective of you, you still needed to make sure he didn’t catch you completely swoon over him. If it didn’t work, you needed to be sure you could still be friends after today.

You jumped out of the car and went into the motel room with him. Knowing you couldn’t go and dig up a grave in the middle of broad daylight, you wished that he might just hang out with you in your room. The more private you could get him, the better it would be.

As per usual, luck was not on your side.

He told you to go change, clothes to dig in. You had no idea what he had planned, but you knew better than to argue with a Winchester when it came to hunting.

Ten minutes later you’re back in the Impala, wearing you usual jeans, flannel and leather jacket. He took you to a diner, telling you to order whatever you wanted, Dwight Murray from Tulsa was paying, and you were going to wait there until it was time to go grave digging.

Despite being starved, you didn’t want to spend your precious time alone with Dean in a diner. There was no way he was going to talk about anything too personal here, he always wanted to keep private things extremely private.

It took a couple of hours, sitting in the diner with Dean, hoping that he would look at you like he had that morning. Instead, you ended up sitting there until sundown.  
You had never really known what Dean’s middle name was, but right now you would put your money on ‘Efficiency’.

Between the diner and the graveyard, he hardly said a word.

You became genuinely afraid that you had crossed some line you didn’t know about. But after about 15 minutes of grave digging, he was back to same old Dean. However, you were still afraid of messing things up, so you avoided asking him anything about his behaviour. Hoping to stay on his good side.

Usually, when two hunters dig up a grave, they dig up about half each. With you and Dean, that was not the case. He allowed you to start digging when he was about half way down, and you were pleased to be treated like a proper hunter again, but he demanded the shovel back when there was still half of your layer left.

That’s how you ended up standing by the side of the grave when he pried the coffin open. Neither you nor Dean had thought about what that entailed. You had both hunted far worse monsters than this ghost, which may have made both of you underestimate what a danger she was.

The second the coffin was opened the old lady was after you. She possessed powers she hadn’t had while still alive, being dead for 50 years gave her a lot of time to figure out how to best use her ghost-mojo. It also happened that you had ended up on the other side of the grave from where every ghost-repelling weapon was. It had been a few moths since you hunted and you immediately cursed yourself for your foolishness.

So, you ended up doing what every person would do, you ran.

“(Y/N)!” You heard Dean shouting from down in the grave. He knew you were in trouble.

“Torch the bitch!” Was the only reply you had time to give before legging it.

On your way in you had noticed that the graveyard had some communal gardening tools. You set your course straight towards it, being only a few feet away when you tripped over a low gravestone you hadn’t seen in the dark.

Luckily, falling on your face made you reach the small iron shovel leaning towards the fence. You struck the ghost, making it disappear for a few seconds, only to have it reappear on the other side of you. Just as you were about to scream and lunge at her, she went up in flames

It only took a few moments for Dean to come and find you. He helped you up, only to discover you couldn’t really stand on you left leg, your ankle hurt too much. Letting out a sigh of frustration, he picked you up, an arm under your knees and one under your back, and carried you back to Baby.

He told you to stay put, and you knew your leg hurt so much that you had no choice but to agree. Wanting to help and do what any other hunter would do, you instead ended up sitting in the car while your partner covered up the grave and grabbed all your weapons and tools, making sure it was safe to leave the graveyard.

After a hunt like this with Sam or Paul, Dean would usually drive through the night to get home as soon as possible, but you had gone and gotten yourself hurt.

With either of the two guys they would have made sure nothing was broken or bleeding to hard, and then head for the road. With you, that wasn’t what was going to happen.

Dean drove you back to the motel, helping you in, and slumping you down on your bed. Paul wouldn’t be pleased that you stayed on a hunt for an extra day, but he would be pissed if Dean drove you home after you just got hurt.

He took off your boots and socks, not listening to your protests about being able to do it yourself. Dean wrapped up your ankle as best he could, being extra careful. Then he went to your small fridge and dug out some ice, wrapping it in a small towel and putting it on your ankle. The big man was gentler than you could imagine. If not for the fact that it was his hands on you, you might have fallen asleep.

“You hurt anywhere else, Sweetheart?” The way he said it, it was almost a whisper.

You felt around your body. The pain you could clearly identify was coming from your ankle, but you also felt something on your back, right below your shoulder blade.

“I don’t know. My back feels kind of sore, but I can’t really tell.”

Dean didn’t even miss a beat before he started towards your back.

“Where?”

“Just below my shoulder blade.”

He tried pulling up your flannel, but it didn’t really work. Then he tried pulling it down, but it was too tight.

“I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to take off your shirt,” he said while rubbing his neck.

You didn’t hesitate. Not just because this was Dean, but also because you knew that sometimes the worst injuries don’t really hurt too much. You had learned that the hard way.

Suddenly you were sitting on a motel bed, wearing nothing but jeans and a black bra, Dean Winchester was sitting behind you, cleaning a wound on your back. It wasn’t too bad, so he just had to clean and bandage it. He still took his time. Making sure not to hurt you more than absolutely necessary. You shivered from his touch.

When he was done he paused for a second, but you couldn’t really tell why.

Dean stood abruptly, tossing you a t-shirt from your duffel bag, and the remote. He slid his leather jacket back on, grabbing his keys, wallet and phone. Before you knew it, he stood with his hand on the doorknob.

“You should rest. Sleep if you can. I’m still too riled up, so I’m gonna go to the bar down the street. You’re probably not gonna be awake when I get back, so I’ll see you tomorrow, Cherry Pie.”

He was out the door and half way to the bar before you could process what he had said.

It was about an hour and a half later when you heard the door open in the room next to yours.

After Dean left, you had tried everything you could not to spend the entire evening wondering why. Instead you had watched TV, played with your phone, read, and done everything you could think of to distract yourself.

You had thought that today went so well, until it suddenly didn’t anymore. All of distractions finally failed, and you went through the entire day, trying to think of what you could have done wrong. Nothing came to mind. You knew Dean was comfortable with you. You lived together. There wasn’t much difference now, besides the even closer quarters and the hunt, but you couldn’t understand why that would affect him like this.

These thoughts completely took over your mind. Every distraction forgotten. It was all you could think about.

That’s when you heard it.

You had wondered why you had noticed the sounds from the room next door. Having spent your share of time in motels over the years, you had learned to zone them out. You had written it up to living in the bunker and not having spent much times in motels lately, but when you heard those noises, you knew why you noticed.

Over the last couple of months you had spent a lot of time thinking about Dean, every aspect of him. You had noticed things about him you didn’t really notice with other people.

You had heard him with enough women over the past year. He even took some to the bunker, provided they didn’t understand what it really was. The walls in the bunker were thick. It was made so that a lot of people could live and work together without going crazy, and even there you heard him.

All that was separating you from him – and whoever he was with – now, was a thin motel wall.

Every sound was right in your ear. You could hear every moan, every groan, every squeak of the bed. It was all happening right next to your head.

Suddenly every thought of everything else flew out the window. No matter how much you wanted to think about something else, all you could think about was Dean and that woman.

She was probably bleach blonde, tall, tan, shaped just right all over. She probably had confidence coming out of her pores.

You were sure she was everything you wanted to be, and she had everything you wanted to have. Not only did she get Dean tonight, you were willing to bet she could get whoever she wanted every night.

After, she got to go home to her normal life, with a normal job, normal home, normal family. Why the Hell shouldn’t Dean go for her, she was, and had, everything he wanted.

As if those thoughts weren’t bad enough, your mind just had to screw you over yet again. Showing you things you really didn’t want to think about for even a second.

It showed you images, images of Dean with this woman. He was probably taking her breath away with his kisses. You remembered how soft his lips had been against yours. As he was kissing her, he would mark her skin, her neck, her breasts, probably even the inside of her thighs, mark wherever he would run his mouth over her skin.

His hands. Those big, strong hands. They had been so gentle on your ankle and back. Right now, he was caressing every inch of her body with them, making her feel more wanted than any woman could dream of. He would knead her hips, her thighs, her breasts. You knew he would take his time, do whatever she wanted.

If there was one thing you were sure about how Dean would be in bed, it was that he would do whatever it took to please his partner.

After making her feel good with his mouth and hands, he would finally fuck her.

With your lack of experience, this is where your imagination started to fade out, and you had never been more grateful. Every image, every thought was your own personal torture.

You had endured listening to this so many nights, but tonight you had hoped you would be the one wrapped up in his arms.

The walls were almost shaking with their orgasms.

Apparently her name was Amanda.

You just thanked Heaven that they were done as you pulled your blanket over your head, determined to sob yourself to sleep.

To your surprise it didn’t take long before Dean came back to your room. He took a shower and crawled into the other bed. He let out a content sigh and fell easily asleep.

You would have to quietly cry yourself to sleep instead.

The next day was as awkward as it could get. You knew it, and Dean knew it. He had tried to start the day of cheerful, getting you breakfast and snacks for the drive home. When you hardly answered him more than necessary, he eventually gave up.

He packed up Baby while you took a shower. When you came outside and threw your duffel in the back, he went back to the reception, handing back you key.

As you sat in the front seat of the Impala waiting for him, the door to the room next to yours opened. Amanda was everything you had expected her to be.

She headed towards reception with her room key.

Dean came back to the car five minutes later, and you had to fight the new tears threatening to spill over. The second the engine started rumbling you turned on some classic rock music, tuning out everything else. Dean gave you a weird look, but let you be.

You hardly spoke a word to each other on the too long drive back to the bunker.


	4. Chapter 4

The trip back to the bunker was long and awkward.

When you finally arrived both you and Dean got out of the car as soon as possible, not saying a word to each other. With his long legs he got inside before you did, and was already on his way down the hall to his room when you got to the bottom of the stairs.

Paul and Sam were sitting in the library, books scattered all around. They stopped what they were doing as you entered, their faces quickly becoming question marks at the obvious tension between you and Dean.

Your eyes met Paul’s, and you knew he could tell immediately that something was really wrong with you. Wanting to avoid talking about your private feelings with your brother, and not wanting to rat Dean out, you attempted to hurry down the hallway after him, heading for your own room. Naturally, Paul wouldn’t stand for that.

“(Y/N), where do you think you’re going?”

“To my room, I need to unpack.”

Paul gave you his stupid bitch-face, it wasn’t up to par with Sam’s, but it was pretty damn good, and you knew you had to listen when he sent one your way.

“You’re not going anywhere with that look on your face. Park your butt in a chair and talk to us. I’m not letting my little sister walk around the bunker moping like a wounded bird.”

This time it was your turn to put on a bitch-face, but it had absolutely no effect on Paul. You had used that up somewhere around your 18th birthday. Your puppy dog eyes where the only expression you had left with any power over him.

Knowing you had no choice, and hoping you could keep the discussion on general terms, you slumped down in a chair by the table Paul and Sam had been working at. Paul still needed to keep his leg up, so you sat down across from him, next to Sam.

“You and Dean usually get along just fine, so why the hell does it feel like penguins could have marched through here?”

“It’s a long story, I don…”

“What is that on your hand?” Sam interrupted.

You looked at him confusedly, and then looked down on your hand. There, on your left ring finger, was Mary Winchester’s wedding ring. With all that had happened with the hunt and Dean, you had completely forgotten to take it of.

Paul, like always, assumed the worst.

“You got married to Dean Winchester?” It honestly sounded like he was about to explode, and he probably would have if it wasn’t for Sam sitting just next to you.

“No! I didn’t get married! Why on earth would I get married on a hunt?” shaking your head at your brother, you slid the ring off your finger and put it in the palm of Sam’s hand.

“This… This is my mom’s wedding ring,” he whispered, obviously quite shaken.

“Dean thought it would be best to pretend to be newlyweds while looking at the house. He gave it to me as a prop,” you shrugged.

“Dean let you wear this?” Sam seemed even more shocked at this news, and ended up sitting quietly, staring at you.

“Yeah, for the hunt,” you said and redirected your attention to Paul. You wanted to get this awkwardness over with so you could curl up in bed and ignore the rest of the world for a while.

“What did Dean do? He obviously did something to make you this upset.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong Paul, it was just a bit of a miscommunication.”

It physically hurt you to say those words. Dean had done one of the worst things you could imagine, but it still wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t know how much he had hurt you, he couldn’t know how you really felt about him. Neither could Paul.

“I don’t believe that for a split second. No offence, Sam, but Dean can be a real dick sometimes. Especially when it comes to women. So, you either tell me what he did, or I’m gonna go kick his ass right now.”

You snorted to yourself, “You honestly think you could kick a Winchester’s ass?”

“I could, if he hurt my baby sister,” Paul answered sharply.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, because Dean didn’t do anything wrong.”

You turned your head towards Sam, finding him still staring at you. Whatever he was thinking about, you figured you could use his attention to your own benefit, if only to stop a fistfight between the two men you loved most.

“What’s up, moose? Why’re you looking at me like that?”

He didn’t answer, just kept staring.

“Could you please give some input to stop my brother from starting a fight your brother?”

That apparently snapped him out of it. He cleared his throat and looked up at Paul. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing Sam was the best peacemaker you knew.

“Come on, dude. You know Dean would never hurt (Y/N). He can be a dick, but not that much of a dick. My guess would be, he’s just angry at himself for letting her get her leg hurt on the hunt.”

That made Paul’s eyes snap to yours, he obviously hadn’t noticed your limp coming down the stairs.

“But if you think someone needs to give him a few harsh words, I’ll go do it right now, and you could have a look at whatever injury (Y/N) has.”

Paul reluctantly agreed to Sam’s idea, and made you show him your sprained ankle. There was no way you were showing him the wound on your back, if he saw that he would never let you hunt again.

The Winchesters actually spent quite a lot of time in Dean’s room that day.

You ended up spending your day with Paul until dinner time rolled around, having hardly seen anything of either of the two brothers since Sam left you with an overprotective Paul.

Dinner was tense. There was a huge elephant in the room, but you all managed to tip toe carefully around it.

Paul had eventually relaxed, after you had told him for the 500th time that Dean hadn’t done anything wrong. It was slightly comforting, knowing that even if there was palpable tension, there at least wouldn’t be an all out fist fight.

Sam must have some sort of 6th sense.

You hadn’t noticed too much before, but he immediately knows how to solve every conflict that occurs in the bunker.

Claiming both Paul and himself needed to get out after having been cooped up in the bunker for days, he managed to get your brother to leave Dean and you alone for the night. You didn’t know where they went, but you honestly didn’t care.

You had been thrilled by Sam’s proposal, wanting nothing more than to get back on good terms with Dean. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, and it wasn’t really in your place to get upset with him over something like this. Yes, you had thought there was something there, but that was while you were pretending to be a couple. The man was good at everything when it came to hunting, why wouldn’t he be good at pretending.

Despite your initial positivity to the plan, the second Sam and Paul left, you started hiding out in your room.

You wanted to be close with Dean again, of course you did, but there was no way you could talk things out with him and not burst into tears and confess your feelings. And that was if he even wanted to have that sort of conversation with you, which you highly doubted given his history.

That’s why you ended up alone in your bedroom, watching Friends, trying to cheer yourself up and forget the fact that your stupidity may have destroyed the best chance either you or Paul had ever had at having a home.

Ruining things for yourself was bad enough, but causing any sort of pain to Paul was too much.

You were ten minutes into your third episode of Friends when there was a knock on your door.

Dean must have decided that he had had enough of the awkwardness.

Your hand was shaking as you put it on the knob, opening your door to see Dean standing there. He looked almost defeated, and you wanted to do anything to wipe that expression off his face. In that moment you decided that it didn’t matter that your heart was breaking, it didn’t matter that you would feel this kind of pain over and over again, it didn’t matter that you couldn’t have what you wanted most. In that moment you decided that you would sacrifice anything to make Dean as happy as you could, even if it meant sacrificing any chance of happiness for yourself.

“(Y/N), we need to talk,” he made his way past you into your room, leaning against your desk.

“We don’t, Dean. It’s fine. We’re fine. I was just being stupid, I realise that now. We can put it all behind us and go back to the way things were,” you were standing in front of him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, so you locked your gaze on his neck.

“Of course we need to talk! Sweetheart, you can’t even look me in the eye! I know I must have done something wrong. I want to fix it, but I can’t figure out what I did to piss you off.”

Your heart jumped a little at the nickname. You hadn’t realised how much you missed it, even if it had been just a day. By the end of the sentence you finally brought your eyes up to his. Was he really that clueless?

“Do you really not know?” It was a whisper as it left your mouth.

“If I had any idea, I wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

That made you scoff.

“Yes, you would have, but that’s not important. Can’t we just leave this all behind us and move on?”

“I can’t (Y/N)!” he exclaimed. ”I can’t just pretend like everything is fine when I know I did something to hurt you. Believe me, it’s the last thing I want to do.”

At that, you could feel tears forming in your eyes, and you brought them back down to his neck.

“(Y/N)…” He was struggling to find his words. “Do you have any idea how difficult the last few days have been for me? When were here in the bunker, I can cope, but alone with you, out on a hunt. I was sure I was gonna break at some point.”

The way he said it was so gentle, but it still felt like he ripped your heart out. If it was that difficult, you wouldn’t force him to keep spending time with you.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t like getting too close to people other than Sam. I understand. I’ll just go hunting with Paul or Sam, and we don’t have to be here at the same time. I don’t want to make things difficult for you.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Why would you do that?”

“Because, you don’t like spending time with me. I get it. Just please don’t kick us out. Paul really likes it here, and I don’t want to be the reason why he lost you guys.”

“(Y/N)… Sweetheart, there is no way I’m kicking you out! And I really do like spending time with you. I just don’t like it when you’re upset with me,” his voice stil so soft.

Your patience was running thin now. You knew he was just being kind, and you just wanted to be left alone, so you could curl up in bed.

“Of course I’m upset with you! We were supposed to go on that hunt together! Instead you left me in our motel room. The first night I could get, records aren’t that exciting, but the second night? Why?”

There were tears streaming down your face now. You hadn’t really gotten to the real reason why you were angry with him, but it was near enough.

“You were hurt! You needed to rest!”

“And it was completely impossible for you to even hang out with me in the room for a night?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because I wouldn’t have been able to hold back anymore!”

If there were ever words that could fall out of Dean Winchester’s mouth and stun you, those would be the ones.

It took you a minute to compose yourself, but when you did, there was only one thing on your mind.

“What?”

“Come on… Do you really think it’s easy for me, being so close to you, all the damn time, but never close enough?”

You were fully aware that you looked like a question mark, but you couldn’t really help it.

“Suddenly this hunt happened, and I got to pretend, if only for a little while, that you were actually mine! I got to hold you that first night, and it was honestly the best night of my life. Then you went and got yourself hurt. I was so scared for you. I just wanted you to be okay. I was gonna fix everything that needed fixing, and then I was gonna put on a movie and cuddle with you and not let go until the next morning.”

His words almost made your knees go weak. All the things he said, knowing he wanted what you wanted. Almost, but you remembered what had actually happened, what he had actually done. You could feel your face grow hard at the thought.

“That’s why you left me there? You wanted to watch a movie with me, so you walked out the door?”

“No!”

“Then why? Because I really don’t understand.”

“You took your shirt off!”

“What? I had an injury, of course I took my shirt off.”

“I know that’s why, but that didn’t really help. If I hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have been able to control myself. I wanted you so badly already, and then you’re suddenly sitting right in front of me, wearing nothing but a bra and some jeans. I would be a dead man walking if I touched you.”

“Are you really blaming this on my brother?” The look on his face told you he knew already that it was a mistake bringing Paul into this.

“No, of course not! But we live together, I didn’t want to make things more complicated than they already are.”

You just huffed and turned your back to him. Every excuse he made sounded stupid and every issue could have been dealt with.

“I know it’s not really any of my business, but I know how innocent you are. I didn’t want to be the one to corrupt you. Believe me, I can be corruptive.”

There was a smirk in his voice at the end, and you knew what he was thinking about.

That’s when you realised he didn’t know. He stood there, coming up with every excuse he could, and he hadn’t even realised that you knew. You knew what he had done that night instead of being with you.

You turned around slowly, wanting to look in his eyes as you let him know you knew.

“Amanda.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Amanda.”

All colour drained from his face as he met your gaze.

“How did you…?”

“Motel walls are thin, Dean. I heard it all. I swear to God, it felt like it was happening right next to my head!”

Tears were streaming down your face now, and Dean wrapped you up in his arms, hugging you tightly to his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sweetheart,” he whispered with his lips pressed against your hair.

You pushed yourself away from him, not wanting to break down in his arms.

“Why, Dean?” you asked, trying to find an answer written on his face. “Why did you want her more than me?”

That was the final drop for Dean. He grabbed your face in both his hands, pressing his lips to yours desperately. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew you were too good for him, but he couldn’t help himself. He had hurt you, worse than he thought he could, and he wanted nothing more than to make it better.

He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against yours, not letting go of the hold he had on your face.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

He released a breath and was already looking at you when you opened your eyes from the kiss. Your first real kiss since you were 17 years old.

“You have to believe me. I didn’t want her any way near the way I want you.”

One of his hands slid back to entwine with your hair, the other went down to your waist, holding you to him.

“Then why did you leave me to go find her?”

“Because I’m a stupid man! I didn’t think you could ever want me like that. And I know that I don’t deserve you,” he looked almost broken.

This time it was your turn to kiss him. It was short and sweet, yet passionate.

“Don’t I get a say in whether I think you deserve me or not?”

He actually chuckled at that.

“Truth be told, I went to her because I knew there was no other way for me to stay away from you.”

“Well, then maybe you just shouldn’t have stayed away,” you said while fingering the lapel of his plaid flannel.

It took him about a second before he reacted, then he was kissing you again.

It was soft and gentle, and you knew he would be as careful with you as a rough man like him could be.

He brushed his tongue against your bottom lip and you instinctively opened up your mouth to him. His tongue slipped inside and started massaging yours. All thoughts flew out of your head, and you were left with the conclusion that this must be what Heaven tastes like.

You gasped when he pulled you closer, and you felt something you had never felt before. He was hard and rubbing slightly against you, but quickly stopped his movement at your reaction.

“I’m sorry. We don’t have to do anything. It’s just that I wanted you so long, and I can’t really control it,” he panted against your face.

Feeling him against you, knowing for sure for the first time, that he really did want you, it all made you feel very brave. That’s why you tugged at his shirt and eventually managed to slide it off him. You gently caressed his arms on your way back up, putting yours hands around his neck and pulling him closer. Leaning up on your tippy toes, you whispered in his ear.

“What if I want to do things with you?” He grunted and tightened his hold on you, encircling your waist.

“We shouldn’t. Sam and Paul are gonna be back in an hour or so, and there is no way that I’m going to be able to leave you tonight if get to do even more with you than I am right now.”

Feeling braver than you had in your life so far, you made a bold move you were never going to regret. Removing one of your hands from behind his neck, you gently brushed it against his hardening length. He almost fell down on top of you as he let out a sound as if someone had punched him in the stomach. His face nussled against your neck, you whispered to him.

“Fuck me, Dean. I want you.”

You could hear a muffled grunt, and before you knew it, he finally let himself go.

He picked you up and almost threw you on the bed, before climbing on top of you.

“You sure about this, Cherry Pie?”

Your answered by simply pulling off the old shirt you had on, the one that had once belonged to him. His eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw you lying beneath him in your red, lacy bra. He looked up at you almost shyly, asking permission to touch.

You took hold of one of his wrists, placing his hand on your left breast. With that first touch, he set of, as gently as he could manage.

He kissed down your jawline and neck, only stopping to leave a mark or two.

“Gotta let those other suckers know you’re mine.”

You moaned as he reached the top of your breasts. He quickly unhooked your bra and slipped it off you.

It was his turn to moan when he saw you laying bare chested underneath him.

He pulled one of your nipples into his mouth, using his hand to play with the other one. No matter what he did, it felt better than anything you had ever felt before.

Having spent an eternity on your breasts, sucking each one in turn and almost making you cum from that alone, he moved further down.

He let his tongue tickle you lightly as he made his way down, until he finally reached your jeans. Looking at you for confirmation, he peeled it off you as you nodded at him.

Then, his thumbs were hooked in the side of your panties. You thanked God the hunt had made you run out of underwear and that all you were left with was this matching red, lacy set.

“You still sure about this, Sweetheart? We can stop now if you want to.”

He was trying to hide it, but you could read it easily on his face that he really didn’t want to stop. And neither did you.

You lifted your hips from the bed, signalling for him to take them off you. He did, and flung them somewhere in the room, not taking his eyes of your most sensitive area. You spread your legs for him, and he started rubbing the insides of your thighs.

He leaned in, licking a trail from your opening up to your clit. Your hips flew off the bed, and he had to hold you down to keep you from bucking up in his face.

“Jesus, (Y/N), you taste amazing. And you’re so wet, me likey,” he smiled widely with your slick all over his chin, before he leanded down to continue licking you.

He did it again, and again. Suddenly pushing his tongue into you, and you came right then.

You had gotten yourself off before - you were a virgin, not a nun - but it had never even come close to how it felt with Dean pleasuring you, his face between your legs. The grip you had on his hair was so tight you were surprised you hadn’t pulled any of it out yet.

“Holy crap, baby… You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt of this exact moment, and I’ve gotta say; this is much better than anything my mind could think up.”

He looked up at you with a smirk and a glint in his eye, and you felt hornier than you could ever remember being.

“Dean, please.”

You weren’t quite sure what you were asking for. All you knew was that you needed Dean to get you to cum again.

Feeling his fingers entering you was absolutely divine.

You were glad that you had never done anything like this before. If you would have known how good Dean could make you feel, you wouldn’t have been able to keep away from him. He scissored you open, making sure you were ready for him. 

He kissed his way back up your body, until his lips finally came back up to meet yours again. You tasted yourself on his lips, and you loved it.

“I should have told you before how absolutely gorgeous your are.”

Then you were pressing your lips to his passionately, making sure he knew you felt the same about him.

You felt him line up with your entrance, and you became nervous all over again. But you wanted this, you wanted Dean, and there was no way you were letting him stop now.

“You ready, Cherry Pie?”, he asked you sweetly. All you could do was look up at him and nod, throwing your hands around his neck, anchoring yourself to him.

He pressed into you slowly, inch by glorious inch, and you had never felt so complete in your life. There was a slightly painful stretch as he entered you, but it quickly disappeared as he stilled inside of you, giving you time to adjust to this new feeling.

Eventually, you moved your hips up carefully, and he knew it was okay for him to start moving.

“Holy crap, baby, you feel so good. I’m not gonna last long,” he said as he started his first gentle thrusts.

You would have answered him that you weren’t going to last either, but you were already too far gone. At this stage you were nothing but a moaning mess beneath him.

For how ever long it lasted, seconds, minutes, or hours, you couldn’t really tell, all you could concern yourself with was Dean. His taste, the feel of him, his smell. You couldn’t have thought of anything but him, even if you wanted to. Lucky for you, there was not a single cell in your body that wanted anything to do with anything that wasn’t Dean.

“Cum for me, baby,” he grunted in your ear, and you did. Dean followed right behind you, spurting into the condom he had rolled on when you were still coming down from your first high.

He stayed on top of you for a minute, catching his breath, before he slowly pulled out of you.

Letting out a sigh, he slumped down in bed next to you, pulling you with him and hugging you against his chest. If it were up to you, you would just stay like this forever. Never in your life had you felt such complete bliss, such utter content. Your body was sated and tired, and you could probably fall asleep right there, but you didn’t want this night to end quite yet.

“Hey, why do you call me Cherry Pie? I never really got that nickname?”

“Do you never listen to Warrant?” He chuckled as he snuggled closer to you.

“Really, it’s because of some song?”

“Well, that, and the fact that I always imagined that’s what you would taste like. Gotta say, I wasn’t far off.”

You could feel yourself blushing and hid your face in the crook of his neck. He just laughed at you and kissed the top of your head.

It was just as you started drifting off to sleep that you heard the bunker door open.

Sam and Paul were back.

You scurried around, pulling your clothes back on, throwing what obviously wouldn’t fit you over to Dean.

Paul had just made his way down the stairs on his broken leg as you and Dean came out into the library.

Sam immediately gave you a knowing look, and you realised he must have had quite the interesting conversation with Dean earlier in the day. That’s was most likely why he had had the forethought to get Paul slightly drunk before getting him home. You hoped that would be enough to dull his hunter skills of observation so he wouldn’t notice how both your clothes and Dean’s were slightly crooked, your hair was a mess, and Dean had a smirk on his face that he really couldn’t wipe off.

As per usual, luck was not on your side.

“No! Nope! Dean Winchester is not allowed to come anywhere near my little sister! Step back, from now on you have to keep at least a five feet distance from her at all times,” he slurred out.

“Paul, please stop.” He had stopped you from living your life before. You really didn’t want it to happen again, not with Dean.

Dean heard the plea in your voice and put his arm around your waist, giving you as much silent support as he could. Sam also looked at you with a compassionate expression.

“Dude, don’t be like that. She’s a grown woman, and if she wants to be with me, I don’t think it’s your place to try and stop us.”

Looking up at Dean, you knew you were gaping. He had never before said anything against Paul when it came to you. Being an older brother himself, he knew all about that feeling of protectiveness. But here he was, standing up for you, and you were genuinely moved.

“I know what you’re like, Winchester.” Paul had hobbled over to you and was poking Dean in the chest by now. “You use women, and then you toss them aside. I’m not gonna let you do that to (Y/N).”

You knew Paul only wanted what was best for you, but this time he was wrong about what that was. You could feel Dean tighten his grip around your waist, and you were just about to start arguing with Paul when Dean beat you to it.

“It’s not like that with her! I care about her more than you know, and I would never to anything to hurt her.”

Paul just scoffed at that.

Sam rolled his eyes. He had had enough of you and Dean moping after each other, and now that you had finally worked it out yourselves, Paul came butting in. This was his home too, and he was done with having it filled by constant tension.

“It’s true, you know.”

Everyone turned around to look at him. No one was more surprised by what he had to say than you were.

“Look, I know my brother has been an ass in the past, but I honestly believe him when he says she’s different. I’ve seen him with a lot of women, but never have I seen him look at anyone the way he looks at (Y/N). And that’s despite the fact that he had to hide it any time either of you looked at him.”

Dean Winchester was actually blushing.

“And that’s before I even get to the whole ring thing,” Sam said with a smile on his face, looking at you.

But Dean stopped him there.

“Alright, we don’t have to go into too much into detail.”

“No, Dean. They need to understand. Not just for Paul to get that you’re not being a dick to his sister, but she needs to know too.”

You looked between the two brothers, confused as to what the big deal was. You had worn their mother’s ring on a hunt. It was part of your cover, nothing more.

“That ring was once supposed to belong to Jess, but when that didn’t happen, I decided I didn’t want to give it to anyone else. So, Dean got it” There was clear emotion in his voice. “Look, I know it was a hunt, and neither of us should read too much into this, ‘cause Dean would punch me in the face, but the fact that he let you wear it means more than you think.”

As if tonight hadn’t been eventful enough, Sam had to go and drop this bombshell on you. 

Dean finally desided it would be best if you heard it all from him.

“(Y/N), truth is, yes, it meant something that I let you wear that ring. It means I feel something for you that I have never felt before.” His face had gone all red now. This was too much emotional talk for him, especially in front of both Sam and Paul.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna go down on one knee and ask you to marry me after one night. Hell, I don’t know if that’s something I’ll ever do. But there are very few things in this world that are sacred to me; the few people I have left, Baby, and that ring. I wouldn’t let you wear it if you weren’t special to me.”

You knew he hated having to say this, and you knew he hated having to say it like this. But he needed to convince both you and Paul that he was in this. Deciding to put him out of his misery, you leaned up and gently pecked his lips.

Relief flooded his features, and you both knew the two of you were on the same page.

It took some time, but Paul eventually got around to the idea of you and Dean being together. He still wasn’t thrilled, but he accepted it.

With Dean having you’re back, he even accepted the fact that you were finally a real hunter again. You worked out a new system. The four of you hunting in pairs, rotating who got to hunt together.

For them, the hunting life was a curse, something they had been thrown into as children.

For you, this was your life, and you wouldn’t want to trade it. Sure, it had its dark sides. But out on the open road, heading towards a new hunt, spending time with the few people you really cared about, this was a life of freedom.

A hunter’s life really was right for you.


End file.
